Touching Meela... Remembering Loss
This afternoon, Avios and Dr. Narheen brought Meela out of the incubation/clone unit thing. OUT!! Out so I can touch her! She was still connected to tubes and wires, but she took a breath and shrieked load enough to scare the crap out of the big cat Maxell left to keep up company. *grin* Avios wrapped her in a blanket and Dr. Narheen gave her a medical exam. Then... then I got to touch her... hold her... feel her soft skin, kiss her tiny fingers and toes. She has gown faster than I expected, 4 months ahead of regualr growth rate and is newborn sized now when she technically should be this for another 3 months. I didn't care. I was holding my beautiful daughter. She was feisty and strong, gripping my thumb. I could feel her searching with her other senses for Deomo, her daddy. *pang* He will regret missing this moment.
I asked about the tubes and wires. She needs then because while some of her is very developed, other more internal parts of her are still growing. Electrodes will also be transfering knowledge and stimilating responses from her mind and body as she continues to develop in the incubation fluids.
Meela. I got to hold her. I got to touch her. *contentment*
Dr. Narheen concluded with ehr examination of Meela and assessment. I don't think I heard much of it. I was too busy looking into Meela's pale blue-green unseeing eyes. I wonder if they will stay that colour? Avios readjusted the BE fluid and the incubation unit with the new information from the medical assessment. I did not want to give Meela up to go back into that machine... but I had to, for her life and safety. *sigh* I watched as Avios held her a moment and he smiled. Something niggled its way into my mind... but not clear enough for me to grasp it. Then he unwrapped her and, careful of the tubing and wires, placed her again into the unit's BE fluids. She fussed and struggled. *shhh.... hush baby... I am here... it will be alright* Deomo... please be safe. I want you here the next time she comes out. She needs you here the next time she comes out. I reached up and pressed my hand to the unit's warm glass surface, reached with my spirit to try to sooth Meela.
Avios put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. He looks so much more grown up now... so much... gods... that niggles thought... yes. He looks so much like his father, so much like Maxell. And he has been doing some battle training, but I know not what for. Wow... so like Maxell... The hair, the eyes... those deep blue eyes... and that soft smile that is so reassuring and gentle... no matter the harshness around. *pang* I had to swallow hard and step from the room.
Max.... .... ....
Max. Where are you? What is wrong with you?
I walked up the stairs to the balcony and looked out across the Dantooine landscape and the sky was darkening to night... with no moon yet showing. Remembering. Remember when Maxell carried me out here and sat with me watching the stars. My knees grew suddenly weak and I sank to the ground. My hands still gripping the railing till my knuckes went white. My chest tightened. My throat closed. I swallowed hard again and pressed my brow to the balcony posts. I could not stop the tears that came....
Gods... please...
please...
help Max...
help me to help Max...
Please...
Bring my love back to me whole...
please.... .... ....
I asked about the tubes and wires. She needs then because while some of her is very developed, other more internal parts of her are still growing. Electrodes will also be transfering knowledge and stimilating responses from her mind and body as she continues to develop in the incubation fluids.
Meela. I got to hold her. I got to touch her. *contentment*
Dr. Narheen concluded with ehr examination of Meela and assessment. I don't think I heard much of it. I was too busy looking into Meela's pale blue-green unseeing eyes. I wonder if they will stay that colour? Avios readjusted the BE fluid and the incubation unit with the new information from the medical assessment. I did not want to give Meela up to go back into that machine... but I had to, for her life and safety. *sigh* I watched as Avios held her a moment and he smiled. Something niggled its way into my mind... but not clear enough for me to grasp it. Then he unwrapped her and, careful of the tubing and wires, placed her again into the unit's BE fluids. She fussed and struggled. *shhh.... hush baby... I am here... it will be alright* Deomo... please be safe. I want you here the next time she comes out. She needs you here the next time she comes out. I reached up and pressed my hand to the unit's warm glass surface, reached with my spirit to try to sooth Meela.
Avios put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. He looks so much more grown up now... so much... gods... that niggles thought... yes. He looks so much like his father, so much like Maxell. And he has been doing some battle training, but I know not what for. Wow... so like Maxell... The hair, the eyes... those deep blue eyes... and that soft smile that is so reassuring and gentle... no matter the harshness around. *pang* I had to swallow hard and step from the room.
Max.... .... ....
Max. Where are you? What is wrong with you?
I walked up the stairs to the balcony and looked out across the Dantooine landscape and the sky was darkening to night... with no moon yet showing. Remembering. Remember when Maxell carried me out here and sat with me watching the stars. My knees grew suddenly weak and I sank to the ground. My hands still gripping the railing till my knuckes went white. My chest tightened. My throat closed. I swallowed hard again and pressed my brow to the balcony posts. I could not stop the tears that came....
Gods... please...
please...
help Max...
help me to help Max...
Please...
Bring my love back to me whole...
please.... .... ....
posted by scarletcougar at 10:10 PM
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