What Happened?

I have been very occupied lately with healing and doing prescribed exercises. And with spending time watching Meela. She is growing! It is AMAZING! You never see this when a child is inside you. I can see her little fingers and toes! She makes facial expressions too! What happened to the time?! She is growing so fast! And oh boy is she ever feisty!!! I forbade Dr. Narheen from doing any genetic manipulations on her. I understand this may mean a challenging child. But... Between Deomo and I... she will learn control. And maybe even better ways to directing her feral nature. I shouldn't talk. I don't have great control myself.

The meditaions over the past week or so have helped immensely. The only problem I have had... is with Max. *sad* He... has been avoiding me. I can feel that he thinks of me and wants to get close and them this dark rise of anguish clouds me out. He is shutting me out. Why? What did I do? Is it guilt that he was feeling before or something else? Max... I am fine... really!

Max.... Max? Please...

Max?

I need you... please don't shut me out.
What happened? What did I do?
Max? Please...

:(