Wee Hours Sunday Morning: January 2, xxx5

I was... just... stunned. I felt so... lost... alone.

I wandered aimlessly. Guided by the Force... or maybe Need... or whatever... I didn't really care. I felt kinda numb. The gods are so cruel. I tried to tell myself it is because they are tryong to hone me like a many folded and forged blade.

I found myself on Talus.

I walked. I set up a small camp just outside the Imperial Outpost. I changed my clothes as the others were torn and dirty. I washed myself with some water from a stream. Why was I here? I packed up the camp and wandered some more.

I stood on a hill, overlooking a great city. Deomo's city. I remembered it from when I met him in the city hall. I stood on that hill for maybe an hour... not knowing why... or what to do. I walked down the hill into the city. I stood in front of a house. A small house, with a lamp post on the balcony. Deomo's house. I can feel him inside. So need called me? Was it his need? Or my own? I could feel his pain and sense of loss, having lost something he just found. I hurt him. I needed... to ... to at least say I was sorry. Even if that made no difference between us in the end.

I walked up the steps. Uncertain. Stood before the closed door. Maybe... maybe I should just leave. *heard the auto unlock click* I have done enough damage. *sadness* I looked down and turned away.

Standing before me was an Imperial SSS member, armed. He asked me who I was and what my business was here. I froze. He demanded again... more insistantly. Damn. Kark. Sithspit! I am rebel... what the hell could I say. I have no armor... no weapon... no energy to run. I back up slowly. *just a little farther* I heard Deomo in my mind. The SSS guard walked up to me. I backed up against the door and crossed the threshold into Deomo's house. The door closed. I leaned against the wall heart pounding. Then the guard entered. And demanded again... raising his rifle. He called to Deomo about... the intruder. Deomo announded that I was with him and for Chas to... stand down. The guard, Chas, left. I was shaking. I nearly sank to the floor.

Deomo came around the corner and took my arm, leading me into the main room. He spoke quietly at me. I had no words. He told me of why he lives like this, why he lets no one near, why he has no bed, why everything is sparse and untilitarian. How I touched him. How I ...hurt him. I could not summon my voice. He stood with his back to me facing a lovely picture of a Twi'lek. I stood in the middle of the room... behind him. Silent. The tears, safely unseen, glistening on my cheeks. He must have heard one fall to the floor. He turned. Took my hand and had me sit on the floor before him. His gentle touch spurred more tears. I did not know why. And I could not stop them. He asked me why I weep. I had no answer. I... whispered a small apology. His eyes softened. The world is so cruel. To tear me between two men thus. To cause such pain to us all.

He slowly gathered me in into his lap and held me. Wrapping his cloak and arms about me. Whipsered a word of forgiveness. I wept on his shoulder. He explained he must do this arrest of Maxell. Or the Empire will hunt down and destroy all that Maxell holds dear. That I must be strong. For all of them. Can I? I have been brought to the brink so frequently this week. Is there anything left? He held me. And he hummed. Soothed my spirit. Eased me into an exhausted sleep. A sleep with no nightmares... held protectively in his embrace.