Forging a Bond
We stood before the hull windows, where the movement of the planet could not nausiate me. I apologized for the mess of me crates. I do not live, nor entertain in this ship very often. We talked. And as we did, his tone gentled. As he grew closer, the battle behind is his eyes frew fiercer. I reached along that new bond. And sensed.
No. Even buffed against him unbuffed, I would not succeed in taking the pendant by force from him. So instead, I let our talk draw us closer. I delicately touched the pendant, braced for an impact of images. None came. But it pulses. Pulsed in time with his heartbeat. Gods. The Shadow Ancestor HAD touched it.... and bound it to Deomo's spirit as surely as I had bound myself to him. I could not take it from him. I dared not. It was now a part of him as surely at the feral. And in his eyes raged a battle for control. The darkness wanting to deal death for honour. The feral wanting to ravage the thing of his desire. The images dashed in an out. Like his body strained to do with me. And yet there his spirit stood ... holding me close, standing between these to deadly dangers within him. I was his balance... but only when I was there in his presence. Then... then I knew what I had to do. *risk*
*trust*
Can I trust myself not to bolt? Not to be lost in the feral? No. The feral I can control. Bolting in fear... that was another matter. But, if we did... cross the line... *risk* I would forever be a presence for him to hold onto.
Dare I?
*Max... please... forgive me.*
While I pondered my courage, I led him to the top deck. The veiw was spectacular there and gave me a moment to calm myself. *risk*.... *trust* He will not hurt me. Or he would have long ago. I was somewhat afraid. To cross the line here... would be to do so fully of my own free will, bolstered by the tai'shan urges. Unlike the times with Max, where i was lost to either the feral, or the tai'shan... Max has never had me of my full free will. If I can with Deomo... maybe I will be able to with Maxell.
My cheeks flushed at our closeness, my heart pounded with what I was about to do. Desire ignited our nerves along the bond. But I never let myself be lost. Deomo was completely gentle. The feral rose in him and he held it... for the instinct of new activity... then let it go. The darkness of the pendant had no place here at all. And so I forged a bond... we forged a bond in the unity of our bodies and our minds. Embraced in pleasure. There was a euphoric union.
After, he pledged his life to me. Asked me to be his. Offered me everything of his and more. But, I... could not accept. He has a duty and I am not welcome to be part of that. And I have made my choice already. I know that pained him. That he was not my choice. But he loves me still... and I him. Tai'shan.
What will the gods do to us now?
No. Even buffed against him unbuffed, I would not succeed in taking the pendant by force from him. So instead, I let our talk draw us closer. I delicately touched the pendant, braced for an impact of images. None came. But it pulses. Pulsed in time with his heartbeat. Gods. The Shadow Ancestor HAD touched it.... and bound it to Deomo's spirit as surely as I had bound myself to him. I could not take it from him. I dared not. It was now a part of him as surely at the feral. And in his eyes raged a battle for control. The darkness wanting to deal death for honour. The feral wanting to ravage the thing of his desire. The images dashed in an out. Like his body strained to do with me. And yet there his spirit stood ... holding me close, standing between these to deadly dangers within him. I was his balance... but only when I was there in his presence. Then... then I knew what I had to do. *risk*
*trust*
Can I trust myself not to bolt? Not to be lost in the feral? No. The feral I can control. Bolting in fear... that was another matter. But, if we did... cross the line... *risk* I would forever be a presence for him to hold onto.
Dare I?
*Max... please... forgive me.*
While I pondered my courage, I led him to the top deck. The veiw was spectacular there and gave me a moment to calm myself. *risk*.... *trust* He will not hurt me. Or he would have long ago. I was somewhat afraid. To cross the line here... would be to do so fully of my own free will, bolstered by the tai'shan urges. Unlike the times with Max, where i was lost to either the feral, or the tai'shan... Max has never had me of my full free will. If I can with Deomo... maybe I will be able to with Maxell.
My cheeks flushed at our closeness, my heart pounded with what I was about to do. Desire ignited our nerves along the bond. But I never let myself be lost. Deomo was completely gentle. The feral rose in him and he held it... for the instinct of new activity... then let it go. The darkness of the pendant had no place here at all. And so I forged a bond... we forged a bond in the unity of our bodies and our minds. Embraced in pleasure. There was a euphoric union.
After, he pledged his life to me. Asked me to be his. Offered me everything of his and more. But, I... could not accept. He has a duty and I am not welcome to be part of that. And I have made my choice already. I know that pained him. That he was not my choice. But he loves me still... and I him. Tai'shan.
What will the gods do to us now?
posted by scarletcougar at 11:12 PM
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