Wierd Kid Shit
I hate being "different". I am always "different". And last evening was a spectacular display of that. I had asked Bremm about his early childhood and wahat he remembered of his mother... it wasn't much... but the emotion was intense... and she was deceased. I had this image of a pregnant Zabrak woman swaying and dnacing around a warm fire... and just as i told this vision to Bremm, I blanked out. Apparently He saw a merged view of me/her dancing around out campfire.
It freaked me out. This shit hadn't happened to me since the nightmares when I was a child. I couldn't block it out. As I sat there shaking, disoriented... I could see tears streaming down his face. Part of me so wanted to hold him and comfort him... and the rest of me was scared out of my wits for having lost such control. At least it was... positive? I think. He assured me it was.
He then stood with such a firm decision in mind. "I am going to undergo the surgery again... right now. I need to be Zabrak in body AND spirit." And so that is what he did. He asked if I would honour him by caring for his things till he returned. That the surgery would not take long... but would be very involved... going from older original DNA. Dangerous. I was worried for him, and honoured that he asked me this. Of course I would help... anywat I could. I was scared for him. But i think I understand. By messing with his DNA to look Twi'lek, he dishonours the memory of his mother... and the evening's experience must have drove that home. So despite the dangers of being discovered by the Imperials that enslaved him as a klling machine... he was going to return to the most basic and original form he can of himself.
I fretted for some time... He was "gone". I know the body will change and the spirit be the same... but...
He returned. Safe, whole, alive. Spirit intact. It will take some getting used to. He seriously needed rest now. I set him up in my office to sleep. And watched over him over the night... even though he tried to show such protection over me against potential nightmares. I watched over him. I stayed up until I knew he was well alseep. I had no nightmares.
It freaked me out. This shit hadn't happened to me since the nightmares when I was a child. I couldn't block it out. As I sat there shaking, disoriented... I could see tears streaming down his face. Part of me so wanted to hold him and comfort him... and the rest of me was scared out of my wits for having lost such control. At least it was... positive? I think. He assured me it was.
He then stood with such a firm decision in mind. "I am going to undergo the surgery again... right now. I need to be Zabrak in body AND spirit." And so that is what he did. He asked if I would honour him by caring for his things till he returned. That the surgery would not take long... but would be very involved... going from older original DNA. Dangerous. I was worried for him, and honoured that he asked me this. Of course I would help... anywat I could. I was scared for him. But i think I understand. By messing with his DNA to look Twi'lek, he dishonours the memory of his mother... and the evening's experience must have drove that home. So despite the dangers of being discovered by the Imperials that enslaved him as a klling machine... he was going to return to the most basic and original form he can of himself.
I fretted for some time... He was "gone". I know the body will change and the spirit be the same... but...
He returned. Safe, whole, alive. Spirit intact. It will take some getting used to. He seriously needed rest now. I set him up in my office to sleep. And watched over him over the night... even though he tried to show such protection over me against potential nightmares. I watched over him. I stayed up until I knew he was well alseep. I had no nightmares.
posted by scarletcougar at 9:53 PM
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