Feral Release! Blessed Peace...

The ship was so quiet. Far from the tides of emotions and hunts. Far from the choas that felt like unstopable tattooine sandstorms. I hoped to escape the feral here... and rebuild my barriers. One problem... another heartbeat... intense... hunger, desire... feral... it called... his need called... string but stable need... and collided with my fears and memories. I wanted to be so close to him. How close is too close? What will happen if I do? Will I be lost forever in this feral nature rising in me? I can taste something ... of him ... in the air... stirring the feral in me. I try to fight it! I want to run! He won't let me run away. He hold me firm in place, a gurrcat's grip on my shoulders. I could feel him wanting me. I wanted to run. But there was nowhere to run to. I wanted to rage at him. I did rage at him. He stood his ground firmly, unmoving... like a mountain... so sure of himself. Was I prey? Was I to be enslaved? I looked at him and saw many faces. Dizzying. He touched me. I pushed him away. I screamed! I yelled! I fought fis steady gaze. I fought myself. I raged, the feral threatening to consume me. He let me rage... till I was exhausted. He gave me that freedom. Then he reached out to me again.... and gave me a choice. It was a very difficult choice. Based on trust. The choice to step closer, or to walk away. If i walked, he would land and never see me again. NOOOO!!!!! I wanted him. And I was afraid. He let me go. I could feel that it pained him to do so. "If you love something Scar'let, set it free." Dad? "If it comes back to you it is your, if it doesn't it never was." Dad? *this is what he told me whenever I asked about mom leaving. I had a choice before me. And he was ... letting me go... regardless of what the consequences might be. *trust* I was alone! Too much freedom! Nothing to hold onto! Running with nowhere to go! Caught between fear and desire. I was frozen in place. Frustrated. Angry. Scared. "You do not need to run anymore. You are not alone." His words engulfed me, lending me support, comfort, strength. I wanted to cry. *trust* I took a chance and stepped off the cliff. *trust* I stepped toward him, making my choice. I want the control back. I want myself back. I want him. I ... need him. I can feel he needs me too. *trust*

He touched me, deep in my spirit as his arms encircled me, drew me closer, embraced me. Feral desire laced the edges of what I could taste in the air, what I could smell. It smelled of him... amd me... But he held himself in check, waiting for the right moment. It was intoxicating this closeness. I could feel the feral rising in me, demanding release, demanding to control my actions, consuming my thoughts. I challenged his desire for me, challenged his right to me. He stood firm, ferocity in his eyes, reflecting my primal urges. Will I be lost forever to the feral within? He anchored me in place with a bond so strong and unwavering. His touch sent fire through me, burning away all sentient thought. Touch. Passion. Musk. Sweat. Feral desire. They all rolled through us, lost in each other's need to be closer, bare flesh burning for contact. Lost in the rhythms, wild ferocious rhythms. But not alone. Naver alone. Wave upon wave rose in us We gave in to the heat, the taste... the need. Feral Release! A crescendo of power and passion. A release so sudden, full of pleasure and pain, ecstacy.... intense.... sating. I could feel him inside me... in body and spirit, surrounding me with his scent and energy. I welcomed it. It comforted me. Sated... the feral was sated... eased... aloowing me blessed peace... and self-control once again of my thought.

It was then that it hit me. Crashing in on my thoughts... the realization of exactly WHO I was with. What have we done?!?! I hardly know him. He hardly knows me. His deep blue eyes like the night sky, reassuring me. *trust* I held onto him... suddenly afraid to let go. Relieved it was him and not someone else. Knowing... it couldn't really have been anyone else to touch the very core of me as he did. His tenderness soothed me. I felt peace inside. The feral was still there, but no longer fighting to control me. What will we do? What will happen to us now?

May the Force be with us.
For i know i have been cursed... cursed with an interesting life.

We dressed and landed again on Yavin. I gave him the blue banded bracelet i have worn since the first day arrived in Radiant. And he gave me a large purple gemstone necklace.

*Brem don't laugh!!! Oh nevermind. I know you will anyways... so go ahead.*

We parted ways for safety. But we will meet again soon. We are a part of one another... in an unseperable way. Inexplicably bound. Tai'shan. I may love several people. But none I could ... feel like this about.

Honour is the Law. Love is the Bond.

*oh... and Deomo... choke on it!*