Fiain
Feral.
Out in the wilds of Naboo. I run. I run through the trees and crouch under the brush. I can track anything in these wilds. I hunt. Today I hunted Kaadu. I mask my scent with the woodlands. I creep slowly forward. It never sensed me coming. My sword flashed! I pounced. The Kaadu went down.
Now I just sit in my camp deep in the mountainous woods. Feasting on kaadu. Well, I harvested some for Saladrim. The meat quality is good for buffs. I am restless though. As I stand at the edge of my camp overlooking the valley below. Gualama roam the woods. The stars shine off their gleaming creamy coats. I can feel the woods around me, teaming with the Force. I let the feeling carry me. I miss this. The Temple... I love it... but not as much as I love the wilds.
I was thinking of gurring. Gurr for the gurrcats. And thinking of my name... Firecat. Fyrshka is another name for firecat. How did I get this name? The monks gave it to me. When I was a teen in the monestary, I would drive the old monks nuts. I was wild and curious. They could hardly keep me in the temple for training. The forest and the animals called to me. The fiery red gurrcats called to me. My dad used to hunt with them. I loved them. We are kindred spirits. I would run out from the monestary into the wood and find the lone gurrcats hunting. We would run together through the forest like free spirits. Wild. Feral. Untamable.
I realize I have caged myself. I am in conflict with what I am and what the people expect me to be. And then there are the terrors. The nightmares that plagued my childhood. The nightmares I endured at the hand of a cruel slavemaster (so like him that Deomo is... my mind is blinded in his presense). Brem had made a ward for me against nightmares. But they still come now and again. More now than before. Control is difficult. I dance on the edge of fire and ice. Darkness on either side. I have my faith as the becon of light to keep me from doing the unthinkable... but the wildness in me... I need to hunt more often. Things have been too close. Set me free!!! Yet... plz... help me to stay me. I do not want to be lost. I know it is a Zabrak failing. This battle of the sentient and the feral. The Fiain. Many find a focus. I am pulled in 10 directions with no guidance.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Run. How far can I run? Can I outrun these nightmares? I am going mad. No. I am not. I am just. Having release the ritual binding my strength to Kimbrya... many things broke. And many things resurfaced that I have not faced.
The memories wash over me fresh. I am lost.
*and the wilds claim me*
Out in the wilds of Naboo. I run. I run through the trees and crouch under the brush. I can track anything in these wilds. I hunt. Today I hunted Kaadu. I mask my scent with the woodlands. I creep slowly forward. It never sensed me coming. My sword flashed! I pounced. The Kaadu went down.
Now I just sit in my camp deep in the mountainous woods. Feasting on kaadu. Well, I harvested some for Saladrim. The meat quality is good for buffs. I am restless though. As I stand at the edge of my camp overlooking the valley below. Gualama roam the woods. The stars shine off their gleaming creamy coats. I can feel the woods around me, teaming with the Force. I let the feeling carry me. I miss this. The Temple... I love it... but not as much as I love the wilds.
I was thinking of gurring. Gurr for the gurrcats. And thinking of my name... Firecat. Fyrshka is another name for firecat. How did I get this name? The monks gave it to me. When I was a teen in the monestary, I would drive the old monks nuts. I was wild and curious. They could hardly keep me in the temple for training. The forest and the animals called to me. The fiery red gurrcats called to me. My dad used to hunt with them. I loved them. We are kindred spirits. I would run out from the monestary into the wood and find the lone gurrcats hunting. We would run together through the forest like free spirits. Wild. Feral. Untamable.
I realize I have caged myself. I am in conflict with what I am and what the people expect me to be. And then there are the terrors. The nightmares that plagued my childhood. The nightmares I endured at the hand of a cruel slavemaster (so like him that Deomo is... my mind is blinded in his presense). Brem had made a ward for me against nightmares. But they still come now and again. More now than before. Control is difficult. I dance on the edge of fire and ice. Darkness on either side. I have my faith as the becon of light to keep me from doing the unthinkable... but the wildness in me... I need to hunt more often. Things have been too close. Set me free!!! Yet... plz... help me to stay me. I do not want to be lost. I know it is a Zabrak failing. This battle of the sentient and the feral. The Fiain. Many find a focus. I am pulled in 10 directions with no guidance.
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Run. How far can I run? Can I outrun these nightmares? I am going mad. No. I am not. I am just. Having release the ritual binding my strength to Kimbrya... many things broke. And many things resurfaced that I have not faced.
The memories wash over me fresh. I am lost.
*and the wilds claim me*
posted by scarletcougar at 1:10 PM
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