Troubled Meditation

Even in the thickest of pine forests I cannot find true peace. Perhaps this is why Fyrshka allowed her spirit to join the Force? For that peace? No... she was humam. She did not face the stuggled I am. I cannot remember what happened on Naboo still. It is a blur of hunting and running and the teast of feralness... wanting it and not. The sense of drowning. Yet... there is a vague hint of stability laced with a pain... I am causuing him strain. Another reason why I am out of contact. Far from people. Try to let things settle to normal. What is normal? The nightmares of my past invade my meditations. Disturbances in the Force on Rori upset my meditations and drive me to hunt. I fought the urge... the urge to lose myself. The scent of this new anchoring energy was all about me... embedded in his duster which I have taken to wearing now. My grasp is so tenuous. I am frightened. Frightened of what I might do. How close is too close? My peace here in the forest is so tenuous.

Damn. What am I going to do?

The temple ought to be moved. But word has come to me that WIKAN is deep in the throws of war. Their protection is good.. but... I want the temple in a place of peace.

There is constant whispering in my mind when I am at as much peace as I can obtain. When Kimbrya sleeps... the whispering is stronger. Didn't I break that Force bond? I was sure I did. I cannot make out the whispering. They urge me to do something... but what? WARREN... what warren? I ... I feel called to it. There is a sense of great danger and my conscious knowledge that I am as of yet not skilled enough to face any real battles. Perhaps I will go grind some sword skills on Yavin IV....