Lone-Wolfing

FINE! I lone-wolf it for a while. So I flew over the Falls at Theed. No I was not attempting suicide. That is a cowardly copping out act. I grabbed my badge on the way down. Then is sped across Naboo to Amidala's Beach. I camped there for a bit. It was quiet, peaceful. The water was incerdibly clear and blue. The sand was soooo soft. I swam. And flopped on the sand and stared at the sky and continued to wonder WHY!!!???!!! at the universe.

Just as my stress and headache were easing... Bordesc insistantly tagged my comm. Fine. We talked. He ... read my email. He understands. good. I do NOT want to have to go through explaining it again. But I am sure i will with someone else. Talking abot it doesn't seem to make it any easier. I find it much easier to write how i feel than talk about it. Well he took the time to explain his confusion. He has problems with girls in his hunting parties trying to flirt with him or marry him. But he is already committed to someone. He thought my invite to come out to my camp was going to be yet another situation like that. Dear gods.... after what I have been through!!! never! He now sees why. And will likely never think I have such feelings for him again. I do not think I am going to bother asking all the questions I wanted to ask him in my camp the other night.

In the end, he invited me out to help him with a Vette mission for Jabba the Hutt. It was VERY dangerous. And exciting! We were up in space! The ship we boarded was full of enemy folk with resistance to almost all forms if kinetic attacks. WELL! That meant i was pretty much USELESS except to distract them from Bordesc. I did ok... as long as I walked quietly and snuck about... slowly. If you ran, they noticed you, and you got shot dead.

For the record, i think Bordesc and I sorted out ur confusions. We are still good close friends. But I will still be more cautious with both him and others.