Home Again... safe

I woke stretched out on the blue rug of the blue meditation room. Before I opened my eyes, i was hit with pain... every muscle ached like i had not used them in days and then did all of a sudden. I ached.... But that is exactly wahat was true... i had been bed-bound for i don't know how many days, and then walked about yesterday. The cramping is still prevalent and it worries me, especially with the news that I amy not be able to carry my child to term. What will I do? I don't want to lose her. *nausea*

*breathe... breathe*

I slowly allowed my body to grow accustomed to the idea that i was awake... and not moving. The waves of nausea slowly passed. The cramping was still present but only if I moved. So I didn't.

I let my senses raom instead. The feeling of the plush rug beneath me. The darkeness that I could sense past my closed eyelid spoke of the blue room. The scent of the large painting... and of... Deomo. The sound of his heart beating... sometimes fast with his breath, sometimes peacefully slow. He was so exhausted that he did not even stir. Sometimes I could feel him tense, but too body-tired to move.

I opened my eyes. Deomo was fast asleep in one of those dead-to-the-world sleeps of exhaustion. He was been with me for i don't know how long. I have fuzzy memories of him holding my hand, bright blue lights, a moment of sunshine followed by pain, Elca... and Max... and the news that i can't carry to term... i am not even really sure how I got here.

I could smell food and Max... Max left some food for us. It was cold now. I carefully reached over and ate some. But stays down most of the time, stroking Deomo to sooth him if he tensed in his sleep. I purred for both him and our daughter.

I need to speak with Max. I need to see the specialist and find out what the kark is going on.