People Watching

I like to people watch. I don't need to interact. I just watch what goes on around me. I sometimes read the bios of different people. I study their interactions with others. This is how I have learned some Spanish and other languages. I watched people I know run past me without noticing. Iguess i am getting pretty good at focusing myself to being invisible. When I was young, it was an energy and meditation technique that we were learning... to expand our personal field of energy to give ourselves more personal space or to draw it in so small that we pull ourselves out of the subconscious awareness of others.... thus invisible. We were about to learn how to shield ourselves by force of will... but then situations and events changed in my life.

So... back to my invisible people watching.

I started out in the noisy Coronet spacestation. I sat on the floor out of the way and people watched while a practiced crafting camp kits. Jakob ran past me. So did X-Link (though I doubt he would remember me or recognize me without some intro and references). Some people have very difficult names. Some bios only list the badges they have earned. Some bios are really interesting or read like a business card advertizement : I am a merc for hire or Scouts-R-Us or this is info about my guild and city if it interests you contact me and I will get you set up and make you a member. I saw Teague. Him and Jakob came back and Jakob did then notice me and we exchanged a few words. And Bordesc...

Bordesc and I went to the Med centre to try to escape the merchant barking in the starport entrance. We chatted a bit and then went to the cantina. he needed a mind buff before heading out on another mission. I opted to rest in the cantina and continue my people watching.

Love...

I considered this word that gave me so much trouble earlier. Then watched a couple as they entered... as if i had nearly invoked them. I was just asking myself, if two people liked and trusted each other, let's say in a perfect galaxy which I know this is not, how would they act? What would be the signs? How would I know this? Then there in the cantina a man and a woman met. It was the Force guided me to look and hear and ... sense... As the greeted there was a gentle hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek. They smiles soft smiles at one another.They whispered and giggled with their head bent close while the sat at a table. It was like a delicate glow surrounded them... emminated from them... I tried to figure out what was in that glow. Protection, comfort, trust, security, playfulness, gentleness, respect, freedom... joy... a joy that was contageous. I smiles as they smiled. They seemed so happy... even though this is not a perfect galaxy.

Was the universe trying to show me something? Their moment in the cantina was brief... but not unmarked. Would that ever happen to me? I remember a miment... close to that... when I was with Blimey camping before he went into stasis. We just sat in the silent Corellian night listening to the crackling of my campfire. We were close, not like that couple in the cantina... but close. We sat so close. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he put one arm about me, but left me the room to pull away if I felt uncomfortable. We talked lightly... and I smiled a smile from the depths of me. Has it all changed now? Has he? Have I? Will it be different. We will almost be strangers again. I am nervous. 3 days till he comes out of stasis. Why do I worry so... we were only close friends. Weren't we?